Speaking In Tongues
Ëàâêà ßçûêîâ

Ðóïåðò Ëîéäåëë

â ïåðåâîäàõ Ðåãèíû Äåðèåâîé


© Rupert Loydell, 2002
© Ðåãèíà Äåðèåâà (ïåðåâîä), 2002




Rupert M. Loydell's writing has appeared in hundreds of magazines in the UK, Europe and America; in many anthologies; and in several solo collections. New work was recently commissioned by the Bath Literature Festival and by Exeter Health Care Arts. He has read his poetry on local and national radio, in pubs, clubs and theatres, and has appeared at literary festivals and events around the UK - including Dartington's 'Ways With Words' Festival, The Soho Jazz Festival, Barrow's 'Word Of Mouth' Festival, The St. Ives Festival, Avon Poetry Festival, North Devon Children's Book Festival, Sidmouth Arts Festival, and at the new British Library; and in the United States. He is a painter with numerous group and solo exhibitions to his name, and is Managing Editor of Stride Publications, which he founded in 1982.
He has experience of work with adults and all ages of schoolchildren, has tutored for the Arvon Foundation, and has been visiting lecturer/writer at schools, colleges, libraries and hospitals - and even at an all-night event at Southwark Cathedral! In 1991 and 1992 he read, lectured, ran workshops, and showed his paintings at the Cornerstone Arts Festival in Illinois, America; and was a panel-member at the 'Collaborations: Risk, Trust, Process, Vision' conference in Berkeley, California in 1995. He was Exeter Arts Council's Arts Development Officer 1994-96; and Chair of Exe Lit, the Exeter Literature Festival, in 1996. He is currently working, with poet Anthony Wilson, as the duo 'Charlie's Mid-Life Crisis', and running writing workshops at the Tate St. Ives.




Rupert Loydell: You'll Only Know By Being There
collage on card 150mm x 105mm






12 ÇÀÊÎÍΠÀÑÒÐÎÍÎÌÈ×ÅÑÊÎÉ
È ÏÎÝÒÈ×ÅÑÊÎÉ ÌÅÕÀÍÈÊÈ



Ïèòåðó Äåíòó


1.


Ïîäâèíüòåñü íà íåñêîëüêî äþéìîâ âïðàâî.
Ñòîÿòü ïî ñòðóíêå - íå ñàìîâûðàæåíèå.


2.


Äåðæèòåñü ñâîèõ ôàêòîâ. Òîëüêî ëîæü
ïðèáëèæàåò ê äåéñòâèòåëüíîñòè.


3.


Çàñåëÿéòå òåìíóþ ñåðåäèíó, à íå ñ÷àñòëèâûå êîíöû.
Ýòî ñóìàñøåñòâèå, íå ïðàçäíîâàòü êàêîå áû òî íè áûëî
ïðèìèðåíèå ñ æèçíüþ.


4.


Ðàñïîçíàâàéòå ìèð îò÷åòëèâî è âíå è âíóòðè ñåáÿ.
Ôèçè÷åñêè ýòî çàïóòûâàåò è ââåðãàåò â õàîñ,
íî ýìîöèîíàëüíî ñîâåðøåíñòâóåò.


5.


Àëêàéòå âå÷íîé âåñíû. Ïðîãóëèâàéòåñü
ïî âûñîêèì òðàâÿíèñòûì áåðåãàì.


6.


Èçó÷àéòå îòäåëüíûå îáúåêòû. Ãåîìåòðè÷åñêèå
ôîðìû òàê íåñîâåðøåííû.


7.


Ïðåâðàùàéòå íåñóùåñòâóþùåå â íàñòîÿùåå. Î÷àðîâàíèÿ
è íåâîîáðàçèìûõ ñòðàííîñòåé äîñòàòî÷íî â ÷åì óãîäíî.


8.


Ðàçîáëà÷àéòå ñâîè ïðåñòóïíûå íàìåðåíèÿ. Íåâîçìîæíî
äàæå ïðèáëèçèòåëüíî îïðåäåëèòü ïðèðîäó
ðàçðóøåíèÿ.


9.


Äåëàéòå îáùèå óìîçàêëþ÷åíèÿ. Îùóòèòå ìàëîñòü
è ïðè÷óäëèâîñòü ìèðà.


10.


Óñòóïàéòå âñåìó, ÷òîáû ñóùåñòâîâàòü. Âîñïîìèíàíèÿ
ìîãóò áûòü è áåç àðîìàòà äðóæåñêèõ îòíîøåíèé.


11.


Âîçâîäèòå ñòðîåíèÿ ëèøü äëÿ òîãî, ÷òîáû èõ ïîêèíóòü.
Ëþáÿùèå ìóäðîñòü äîëæíû çíàòü î ìíîãèõ âåùàõ.


12.


Âîçâðàùàéòå äîëãè. Äëÿ ýòîãî òîæå íóæíà
òîëèêà õðàáðîñòè.




ÊÎÃÄÀ ÂѨ ÑÒÀÍÎÂÈÒÑß ÈÇ ÐÓÊ ÂÎÍ ÏËÎÕÎ?



Íåñ÷àñòíûå ñëó÷àè, îòìåíû è çàäåðæêè.
ß ïûòàþñü äîçâîíèòüñÿ äî ïîêîéíèêîâ;
èõ îáåñêàðòî÷åííûå ìîáèëüíèêè âñå åùå
æèâû. Ëþäè âñòðå÷àþò ìåíÿ è îæèäàþò
ðàäîñòíîãî îáùåíèÿ, íî
ýòî íàèìåíüøåå èç ìîèõ æåëàíèé.
Ñòðàíà ïðåáûâàåò â õàîñå. Æèâó
â èçóìëåíèè è íàõîæó ñåáÿ
óêóòàííûì â òóìàíû ðóòèíû;
ÿ âîçìåùàþ ýòè íåóäîáñòâà, ïðîâîäÿ
ñâîþ æèçíü íà âûäóìàííîé çåìëå,
êîòîðóþ, óâåðåí, íèêîãäà íå ïîêèíó.
ß èíòåðåñóþñü ÷óæèìè äîðîãàìè,
â ñìûñëå ÷óäåñ è ìåòàôîð, -
âîçìîæíîñòÿìè áåç ïîñëåäñòâèé.
ß íå ÷óâñòâóþ áîëüøå ñòûäà, ïëåâàòü, åñëè
ñòèõè èìåþò ôîðìó ïðåäíàìåðåííîãî êëèøå.
 îñíîâíîì ýòîò òåêñò, íàêàòàííûé ïî çàêàçó,
ñâîåãî ðîäà çàôèêñèðîâàííàÿ áîëòîâíÿ,
ïîäãîòàâëèâàþùàÿ ê òîìó, ÷òî ñëó÷àåòñÿ
â äðóãîì ìåñòå, ðàçìûâàÿ ãðàíèöû ÷àñòíîé
æèçíè. Ýòè ñëîâà óêðàäåíû, ýòè ñòðî÷êè
âàøè. Íàøè ïàñïîðòà - ôàëüøèâêà,
íàøè äîêóìåíòû íå ñòîÿò íè ãðîøà.
Æèçíü ïðåäñòàâëÿåòñÿ äèêîâèííîé
ïðîöåäóðîé. Äëÿ ÷åãî íàì ïðåäêè è äåòè?
Ñîîáùèòå ìíå, è òîãäà ÿ áóäó çíàòü.
Îáðàùàéòåñü ñî ìíîé îñòîðîæíåå, ìîå
ñåðäöå ëåãêî âîñïëàìåíÿåòñÿ. Ïðîâîäíèêè
âñå ïîòåðÿíû, ãðàíèöû çàêðûòû,
è êàæäàÿ ñöåíà ÿðêî îñâåùåíà.
Íî áûòü çäåñü õîðîøî, íå òàê ëè?
Åñòü ëè êòî-íèáóäü åùå, êòî íå áîèòñÿ?




ÃËÓÏÅÉØÈÅ ÂÅÙÈ





Íåçíàêîìåö ëîìèòñÿ â äâåðü, ÷òîáû ñïðîñèòü,
çíàþ ëè ÿ Èèñóñà. Ìîåé äî÷åðè íåò, îíà
îòïðàâèëàñü ïîèãðàòü ñ ïîäðóãîé. Åé òîëüêî
òðè ãîäà, è î÷åíü îùóùàåòñÿ åå îòñóòñòâèå.
ß ïî÷èíèë ëåñòíèöó íà âõîäå ñåãîäíÿ
è çàäåëàë äûðû. Äî÷ü óæå âåðíóëàñü è ñïèò
â áîëüøîé êðîâàòè, åå êîìíàòà çàáèòà
èãðóøêàìè; ÿ - Îòåö, à íå Ïàïî÷êà áîëüøå.
Äåñÿòü ëåò íàçàä ìîé ñîáñòâåííûé îòåö óìèðàë
îò ðàêà. Ïîòîì óìåð. Äðóã ëèøü â÷åðà íàïîìíèë îá ýòîì
ïî òåëåôîíó, âñïîìèíàÿ çàîäíî îáî âñåõ ïîõîðîíàõ,
êîòîðûå ïîñåòèë, è ïåðåìûâàÿ êîñòè ïîêîéíûì.
Ãëóïåéøèå âåùè çàñòàâëÿþò òåïåðü
ìåíÿ ïëàêàòü: ïåðâûå íàðöèññû â íûíåøíåì
õîëîäíîì ñâåòå; ñòàòüÿ â ãàçåòå î ïûòàâøåéñÿ
ñïàñòèñü èç îãíÿ æåíùèíå, ÷òî óáèëà ñâîåãî
ðåáåíêà-êàëåêó. Íåçíàêîìöû ïðîáóþò âíóøèòü
ìíå, ÷òî òîëüêî èõ âåðà ÷èñòà, à æèçíü ïðîùå,
÷åì îíà åñòü. ß íå î÷åíü â ýòîì óâåðåí. È äàæå òî,
â ÷åì ÿ íå ñîìíåâàëñÿ, âäðóã ñîáðàëîñü è ïðîïàëî.