Speaking In Tongues
Ëàâêà ßçûêîâ
Ðóïåðò Ëîéäåëë
â ïåðåâîäàõ Ðåãèíû Äåðèåâîé
© Rupert Loydell, 2002
© Ðåãèíà Äåðèåâà (ïåðåâîä), 2002
Rupert M. Loydell's writing has appeared in hundreds
of magazines in the UK, Europe and America; in many anthologies; and in
several solo collections. New work was recently commissioned by the Bath
Literature Festival and by Exeter Health Care Arts. He has read his poetry
on local and national radio, in pubs, clubs and theatres, and has appeared
at literary festivals and events around the UK - including Dartington's
'Ways With Words' Festival, The Soho Jazz Festival, Barrow's 'Word Of Mouth'
Festival, The St. Ives Festival, Avon Poetry Festival, North Devon Children's
Book Festival, Sidmouth Arts Festival, and at the new British Library;
and in the United States. He is a painter with numerous group and solo
exhibitions to his name, and is Managing Editor of Stride Publications,
which he founded in 1982.
He has experience of work with adults and all ages of
schoolchildren, has tutored for the Arvon Foundation, and has been visiting
lecturer/writer at schools, colleges, libraries and hospitals - and even
at an all-night event at Southwark Cathedral! In 1991 and 1992 he read,
lectured, ran workshops, and showed his paintings at the Cornerstone Arts
Festival in Illinois, America; and was a panel-member at the 'Collaborations:
Risk, Trust, Process, Vision' conference in Berkeley, California in 1995.
He was Exeter Arts Council's Arts Development Officer 1994-96; and Chair
of Exe Lit, the Exeter Literature Festival, in 1996. He is currently working,
with poet Anthony Wilson, as the duo 'Charlie's Mid-Life Crisis', and running
writing workshops at the Tate St. Ives.

Rupert Loydell: You'll Only Know By Being
There
collage on card 150mm x 105mm
12 ÇÀÊÎÍΠÀÑÒÐÎÍÎÌÈ×ÅÑÊÎÉ
È ÏÎÝÒÈ×ÅÑÊÎÉ ÌÅÕÀÍÈÊÈ
Ïèòåðó Äåíòó
1.
Ïîäâèíüòåñü íà íåñêîëüêî äþéìîâ âïðàâî.
Ñòîÿòü ïî ñòðóíêå - íå ñàìîâûðàæåíèå.
2.
Äåðæèòåñü ñâîèõ ôàêòîâ. Òîëüêî ëîæü
ïðèáëèæàåò ê äåéñòâèòåëüíîñòè.
3.
Çàñåëÿéòå òåìíóþ ñåðåäèíó, à íå ñ÷àñòëèâûå êîíöû.
Ýòî ñóìàñøåñòâèå, íå ïðàçäíîâàòü êàêîå áû òî íè áûëî
ïðèìèðåíèå ñ æèçíüþ.
4.
Ðàñïîçíàâàéòå ìèð îò÷åòëèâî è âíå è âíóòðè ñåáÿ.
Ôèçè÷åñêè ýòî çàïóòûâàåò è ââåðãàåò â õàîñ,
íî ýìîöèîíàëüíî ñîâåðøåíñòâóåò.
5.
Àëêàéòå âå÷íîé âåñíû. Ïðîãóëèâàéòåñü
ïî âûñîêèì òðàâÿíèñòûì áåðåãàì.
6.
Èçó÷àéòå îòäåëüíûå îáúåêòû. Ãåîìåòðè÷åñêèå
ôîðìû òàê íåñîâåðøåííû.
7.
Ïðåâðàùàéòå íåñóùåñòâóþùåå â íàñòîÿùåå. Î÷àðîâàíèÿ
è íåâîîáðàçèìûõ ñòðàííîñòåé äîñòàòî÷íî â ÷åì óãîäíî.
8.
Ðàçîáëà÷àéòå ñâîè ïðåñòóïíûå íàìåðåíèÿ. Íåâîçìîæíî
äàæå ïðèáëèçèòåëüíî îïðåäåëèòü ïðèðîäó
ðàçðóøåíèÿ.
9.
Äåëàéòå îáùèå óìîçàêëþ÷åíèÿ. Îùóòèòå ìàëîñòü
è ïðè÷óäëèâîñòü ìèðà.
10.
Óñòóïàéòå âñåìó, ÷òîáû ñóùåñòâîâàòü. Âîñïîìèíàíèÿ
ìîãóò áûòü è áåç àðîìàòà äðóæåñêèõ îòíîøåíèé.
11.
Âîçâîäèòå ñòðîåíèÿ ëèøü äëÿ òîãî, ÷òîáû èõ ïîêèíóòü.
Ëþáÿùèå ìóäðîñòü äîëæíû çíàòü î ìíîãèõ âåùàõ.
12.
Âîçâðàùàéòå äîëãè. Äëÿ ýòîãî òîæå íóæíà
òîëèêà õðàáðîñòè.
ÊÎÃÄÀ ÂѨ ÑÒÀÍÎÂÈÒÑß ÈÇ ÐÓÊ ÂÎÍ ÏËÎÕÎ?
Íåñ÷àñòíûå ñëó÷àè, îòìåíû è çàäåðæêè.
ß ïûòàþñü äîçâîíèòüñÿ äî ïîêîéíèêîâ;
èõ îáåñêàðòî÷åííûå ìîáèëüíèêè âñå åùå
æèâû. Ëþäè âñòðå÷àþò ìåíÿ è îæèäàþò
ðàäîñòíîãî îáùåíèÿ, íî
ýòî íàèìåíüøåå èç ìîèõ æåëàíèé.
Ñòðàíà ïðåáûâàåò â õàîñå. Æèâó
â èçóìëåíèè è íàõîæó ñåáÿ
óêóòàííûì â òóìàíû ðóòèíû;
ÿ âîçìåùàþ ýòè íåóäîáñòâà, ïðîâîäÿ
ñâîþ æèçíü íà âûäóìàííîé çåìëå,
êîòîðóþ, óâåðåí, íèêîãäà íå ïîêèíó.
ß èíòåðåñóþñü ÷óæèìè äîðîãàìè,
â ñìûñëå ÷óäåñ è ìåòàôîð, -
âîçìîæíîñòÿìè áåç ïîñëåäñòâèé.
ß íå ÷óâñòâóþ áîëüøå ñòûäà, ïëåâàòü, åñëè
ñòèõè èìåþò ôîðìó ïðåäíàìåðåííîãî êëèøå.
 îñíîâíîì ýòîò òåêñò, íàêàòàííûé ïî çàêàçó,
ñâîåãî ðîäà çàôèêñèðîâàííàÿ áîëòîâíÿ,
ïîäãîòàâëèâàþùàÿ ê òîìó, ÷òî ñëó÷àåòñÿ
â äðóãîì ìåñòå, ðàçìûâàÿ ãðàíèöû ÷àñòíîé
æèçíè. Ýòè ñëîâà óêðàäåíû, ýòè ñòðî÷êè
âàøè. Íàøè ïàñïîðòà - ôàëüøèâêà,
íàøè äîêóìåíòû íå ñòîÿò íè ãðîøà.
Æèçíü ïðåäñòàâëÿåòñÿ äèêîâèííîé
ïðîöåäóðîé. Äëÿ ÷åãî íàì ïðåäêè è äåòè?
Ñîîáùèòå ìíå, è òîãäà ÿ áóäó çíàòü.
Îáðàùàéòåñü ñî ìíîé îñòîðîæíåå, ìîå
ñåðäöå ëåãêî âîñïëàìåíÿåòñÿ. Ïðîâîäíèêè
âñå ïîòåðÿíû, ãðàíèöû çàêðûòû,
è êàæäàÿ ñöåíà ÿðêî îñâåùåíà.
Íî áûòü çäåñü õîðîøî, íå òàê ëè?
Åñòü ëè êòî-íèáóäü åùå, êòî íå áîèòñÿ?
ÃËÓÏÅÉØÈÅ ÂÅÙÈ
Íåçíàêîìåö ëîìèòñÿ â äâåðü, ÷òîáû ñïðîñèòü,
çíàþ ëè ÿ Èèñóñà. Ìîåé äî÷åðè íåò, îíà
îòïðàâèëàñü ïîèãðàòü ñ ïîäðóãîé. Åé òîëüêî
òðè ãîäà, è î÷åíü îùóùàåòñÿ åå îòñóòñòâèå.
ß ïî÷èíèë ëåñòíèöó íà âõîäå ñåãîäíÿ
è çàäåëàë äûðû. Äî÷ü óæå âåðíóëàñü è ñïèò
â áîëüøîé êðîâàòè, åå êîìíàòà çàáèòà
èãðóøêàìè; ÿ - Îòåö, à íå Ïàïî÷êà áîëüøå.
Äåñÿòü ëåò íàçàä ìîé ñîáñòâåííûé îòåö óìèðàë
îò ðàêà. Ïîòîì óìåð. Äðóã ëèøü â÷åðà íàïîìíèë îá ýòîì
ïî òåëåôîíó, âñïîìèíàÿ çàîäíî îáî âñåõ ïîõîðîíàõ,
êîòîðûå ïîñåòèë, è ïåðåìûâàÿ êîñòè ïîêîéíûì.
Ãëóïåéøèå âåùè çàñòàâëÿþò òåïåðü
ìåíÿ ïëàêàòü: ïåðâûå íàðöèññû â íûíåøíåì
õîëîäíîì ñâåòå; ñòàòüÿ â ãàçåòå î ïûòàâøåéñÿ
ñïàñòèñü èç îãíÿ æåíùèíå, ÷òî óáèëà ñâîåãî
ðåáåíêà-êàëåêó. Íåçíàêîìöû ïðîáóþò âíóøèòü
ìíå, ÷òî òîëüêî èõ âåðà ÷èñòà, à æèçíü ïðîùå,
÷åì îíà åñòü. ß íå î÷åíü â ýòîì óâåðåí. È äàæå òî,
â ÷åì ÿ íå ñîìíåâàëñÿ, âäðóã ñîáðàëîñü è ïðîïàëî.
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